Maternity leave reflections from a working mom of four.
This was my first week back from my fourth maternity leave. Each of my maternity leaves have been 12 weeks long, most covered by short term disability and the other half by vacation time. Each leave was a little different than the others in terms of concerns I had, whether I went outside of the house and baby's temperament. I wanted to reflect on each of my leaves, as I think it may help some of you moms out there going on your first or second one!
In This Post
First Maternity Leave Reflections
Expectations
It was my first baby and I had no idea what to expect. They told me babies sleep a lot, but I didn't realize how much broken sleep they get (and I would get too). Everyone warned me about how tired I would be, but I didn't believe them. I felt pretty amazing during my pregnancy, so I thought if I could handle my pregnancy, I could certainly handle a baby! As a childless pregnant mom, my nesting phases consisted of cute nursery DIY decor which I expected to turn into full fledged "I can get my entire wedding album done during maternity leave" projects.
Reality
At the time, we were living in a townhouse because we were in the middle of moving back to the city from the boonies. So, if baby cried, we felt bad for our neighbors because the townhouse walls were thin and we were afraid of waking our neighbors night. So baby girl slept between us for about 8 months. Yes, 8 freaking months! I really wanted to try the cry it out method with her, but being in a townhouse didn't lend itself to any favors for doing that.
Baby. It was kind of a blur, but I do believe she was a pretty good baby as long as she was held all the time. She could be soothed and would become content, so as long as you were close to her.
Getting Out and About. I didn't get out much during this maternity leave because I was too scared to know what to do if she started crying hysterically. I was also deathly afraid of trying to nurse in public! Looking back on it, I wish I would have ventured out more with baby because that feeling of being cooped up all day was excruciating.
Breastfeeding and Nursing. As my first child, I was learning how to nurse properly. She didn't nurse from the breast very well, and I think I introduced bottle feeding way too early, which caused me to go down the path of exclusively pumping. I lasted about six months with pumping before reverting to formula even though I wanted to go a full year.
Cooking. I'm pretty sure I didn't cook much during maternity leave with the first baby. We ate out a lot! However, we did have friends that brought us premade foods! It was amazing.
Cleaning. Our townhouse was kept up pretty clean. With having only a newborn, there wasn't a lot of mess that could be made except for the piles of bottles from pumping and feeding.
Finances. Since we were living in a townhouse and paying a mortgage on the property we were trying to sell, we weren't spending a lot of money. Not to mention the pending daycare payments that were coming! I do believe we did save a lot of money from me not eating out as much because I wasn't working and fuel from driving!
First Week Back at Work. I was really sad when I dropped her off. I remember sending her in with anything and everything she could possibly need - which looking back on it, was overkill. I went back in the middle of the week, which was absolutely perfect!
Second Maternity Leave Reflections
Expectations
With a toddler by my side, I thought that I could save a little money on my maternity leave by keeping her at home with her baby sister. It was going to be easy. I knew that I had to reset my expectations on getting any projects around the house done. I would also expect we would have a blast with my toddler now getting to the age of understanding what I was saying.
Reality
We gave the first few weeks for me to get settled with our newest baby girl. She was such a sweet and easy going baby! She hardly ever cried. So I thought I'd keep my oldest around.
I lasted maybe two weeks with my toddler around. With my toddler running around the house screaming all day, my newborn baby girl didn't know what to expect, so she started crying. I cried too. It was kind of crazy. So, we took our toddler back to daycare. Best decision ever for my sanity.
During this leave, we also didn't expect to sell our property, but we did! The last third of my maternity leave was spent packing and moving to our new home!
Baby. She was literally the easiest baby out of the four. I'm pretty sure we had her in her crib at six weeks. She hardly cried and slept a lot!
Getting Out and About. For this leave, I promised myself that I would try to go out more. I probably looked like the worst mom ever when I took my toddler out with my newborn. When they started both freaking out at the same time while I was at my Target run, I wanted to crawl inside a cave. Thus, I hardly went out with this baby after that first fiasco.
Breastfeeding and Nursing. I knew that I didn't want to exclusively pump because that was hard work! So, I worked really hard at nursing my baby girl and we lasted about 10 months. She was an okay feeder, but I was really glad that I held off the bottle longer with her.
Cooking. Knowing that I couldn't feed my toddler McDonalds and Taco Bell every day, I made a valiant effort to cook! We didn't have as many visitors the second time around bringing food, but I managed to have home made dinner on the table every night!
Cleaning. Our house was a disaster. Our toddler makes messes within a span of 30 seconds. Toys were everywhere. Dirty dishes in the sink. With a bigger house, there was more to clean. I got overwhelmed with how I could care for two kids 13.5 months a part as well as being able to keep the house tidy. I secretly hired a cleaning service and didn't tell anyone because I was ashamed of having help. Looking back on it, that was kind of ridiculous of me. As a working mom with three kids, why shouldn't I ask for help? For some reason, I felt ashamed! Well, no more! I did stop the cleaning service half way through the maternity leave. That was not smart on my part.
Finances. Our home was sparse and we really wanted to furnish it! Having sold our property at a loss and knowing that we would have two full-time daycare payments, we didn't buy a lot of furniture and were saving a lot during this time too.
First Week Back at Work. I was really sad when I dropped her off. I remember sending her in with anything and everything she could possibly need - which looking back on it, was overkill. I went back in the middle of the week, which was absolutely perfect!
Third Maternity Leave Reflections
Expectations
I knew that I would be taking the others to school. With my second baby being so easy, I figured I'd have a lot of time to bond with him and also have projects lined up for the house to do. I was expecting him to be as easy as his sister because they are supposed to get easier as you add another (that's what they say anyway). I expected him to come a little earlier because with the other two, both were late.
Reality
This baby came on his due date. From then on, he was pretty much punctual on pretty much everything.
Baby. While he wasn't as easy as his middle sister, he was able to be quite content. I did a lot of newborn photos of him, and he posed for every single one! That tells you how much of a slumber he was in the first few weeks of his life.
Getting Out and About. I got out a lot more with him because he was such a content baby. We went to tons of stores and I got to go to stores that I didn't have time to before having kids.
Breastfeeding and Nursing. He was similar to his sister before him. I delayed introducing the bottle. I lasted 13 months with him breastfeeding. It was amazing! He was a good nurser too!
Cooking. I definitely had home made dinner on most nights! I learned about PepperPlate, a FREE meal planning tool, from a few coworkers before leave. This helped me plan out dinner for the week (including my first weeks back).
Cleaning. We had our cleaning service throughout the year. I thought that I was going to be able to clean the house and save us an extra bit of money. Let's just say I rehired them a few weeks later. Apparently, I didn't learn my mistake from the last time.
Finances. I spent more money during this maternity leave because we were finally settled in our forever home, and I wanted it to make it more homey. I purchased a few decor items, splurged on a white sofa you get the idea.
First Week Back at Work. Having my Chevy Tahoe made drop off a little harder. Preventing door dings as I was handling carrying two toddlers in with an infant was kind of hard to manage. I wasn't as sad with going back to work because I knew what to expect!
Fourth Maternity Leave Reflections
Expectations
Since I already knew what to expect, I was pretty set because I had everything I needed to care for a baby. However, since I didn't know the gender of the baby, initially I had no gender specific items for the baby, which meant I would spend the better part of the beginning of the maternity leave buying all girl or all boy stuff! Also, we knew better than to order a crib, because let's face it, babies don't sleep in their crib the first few weeks!
I thought with my last two easy babies, this maternity leave would be a breeze. I would get to go to all the stores I had on my list of places to shop that I hadn't had time to before.
Reality
Baby. Wow. She threw us for a tailspin. Her second day home, she got a fever and had to be rushed to the hospital with a fever. Typically, the first two weeks is the sleepiest for baby! Well, we spent it in the hospital trying to rule out bacterial infections. Thankfully, there wasn't one and she was fine at the hospital. However, after we got home, this girl was as fussy as a baby can be. I thought she was colicky, turned out she was just needy because she didn't fit the colicky description.
Getting Out and About. I tried really hard to get out with her. But she was not having it. I remember being at Walmart and breastfeeding on a bench in front of the checkout lines because she was having a meltdown. Let me tell ya, it was super.
Breastfeeding and Nursing. So far, she's a great nurser! So much so, she wouldn't even take the bottle the first few days at daycare. I was too early with the bottle for the first baby and too late for the fourth. But I apparently did really well for the middle two!
Cooking. I didn't take my own advice and kept my four year old at home with me half the week over the summer maternity leave. Turned out that was not a smart idea. I was too busy trying to figure out breakfast and lunch that a homemade dinner when she was home during the day was next to impossible! Oh, and cooking for a family of six is nuts! I still can't believe that with four kids under six and two adults we can devour two full size pizzas.
Cleaning. I kept our cleaning service all the way through. It felt sooooo good.
Finances. With my blogging income becoming more routine, I was able to buy a few extra things for the home part of our blog. Let's just say being home didn't lend itself to saving a lot of money on this maternity leave.
First Week Back at Work. With four kids, I finally traded in my SUV for a mini-van. It was the best purchase I have ever made. I hauled four kids into my car all the way to daycare without a single fight about seats, snack cup holders. Guys, I even took home some kids from soccer. The van is amazing. I was also really excited when I got back to work because I could finally think without a lot of commotion! It is super loud in our house now with four kids, so I treasured that "me" time on my drive to work and even in the office thinking about things other than feeding, laundry and dinner!
So there you have it, reflections on my maternity leave for all four of my babies. They all went by pretty fast!!
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