For the past year, I've tried convincing Ryan in getting a babysitter. Ryan has been so adamant about not having strangers watch our kids because he has a "bad feeling" about it. He's so weird. I gave him a name of a babysitter who watches them at daycare! He said no. This was one thing (okay one of many things) that I could not talk him out of.
Let me tell you, we had a drag out argument about this. Not to air all of our dirty laundry, but I told him we needed "us" time without the girls. You know what he said to me?
"Well, I was always under the impression that the girls always had to be with us." Pause for a second.
If your wife tells you she wants to spend alone time with you, that's not how you should respond. I gave him a piece of my mind. Then, we called my mom who agreed to have them over for their first sleep over! She was happy, I was happy, and Ryan was happy that the argument was over.
That night, we went out on a date and went out to have some drinks with some friends. It was so good to catch up with everyone after hibernating for the past three years! Although, we couldn't get away from listening to Ansley's favorite song, "Gangnum Style". We were at Tasso's Greek Restaurant, and they have a live entertainment with music requests. One of the guests wanted to play "Gangnum Style" - we just smiled.
After talking to some of our friends with kids who were out with us, I think it helped us reset some expectations of what being a good parent is.
A few things I learned:
1. You don't need to feel guilty to just get away with just the two of you.
2. You need to hang out with your friends - those are bonds you need to maintain too.
3. Distance does make the heart go fonder - it gives you a chance to miss them.
4. Its okay to leave them with the grandparents over night - even if you are worried if your parents would be able to handle them.
With two kids under the age of two, I was worried on how my parents would do with them overnight. I really wanted to take a "before drop off picture" and "after drop off picture" of my parents. Needless to say, when I picked up the kids the next morning, you could tell my parents were ready for a nap 😉
Ironically, seeing my parents worn out only after 12 hours with them made me feel good about myself. It just validated that yes, parenting these two girls is hard work. And we're surviving! If you don't mind me saying it, I'm really proud of us for making it this far as parents! (Patting myself and Ryan on the back.)
Ending this with a video of Ansley dancing at her Aunt and Uncle's wedding to, you guessed it, "Gangnum Style".